Monday, August 10, 2009

Coming to terms

Coming to terms always seems like you are settling.. Like that's just going to be the way it is. It's made to seem as though it's a negative term.

I don't believe such... I have come to terms with my self. I'm happy with me. I like me. Sure I've made mistakes.. I've done dumb things, but I have accepted me, for me. I am very proud of myself. Few people my age feel as comfortable with themselves as I do.

Now... You may think "Wow last week she was blogging about her diet, this week she's dropped that and now just gonna say shes happy the way she is.". That would make you wrong. Though I'm fine with the way I look, I'll be even better once I drop the weight, not to mention the good cause AKA my daddy.

What I've come to terms with is the inner me. I'm at the point where I know I'm okay. I'm fun, witty, intelligent, kinda funny, lil bit crazy, and an overall good person. Anyone could call my heart and mind a comfy place to reside. I mean..seriously... A big comfy fun place to live.. who wouldn't want to be there? I love being here, or there...whatever it is

So with that said... I hope everyone can come to terms with themselves... and like what they have. It's an awesome feeling.... Good Luck:)

Thursday, August 6, 2009

For Starters

Well, I always knew I should've been skinnier.. I just never had the motivation to lose the weight. I think I look fine the way I am, maybe could lose a bit here.. a bit there.. but other than that I'm perfectly content with the way I look, which I believe is a lot more than most skinny people can say about themselves.
The motivation that I have found is helping my father, who has always helped me out, even if he doesn't think he has. I don't believe there is any better motivation. I started the diet a about a week ago... And have already lost 15lbs. And I have been eating, just no bread, pasta or anything else that I love :(. I'm okay with it, as long as it will help my dad out.
He is in the market for a kidney.. I've got a spare. My sister tried to donate one, was at the very last step, and they pulled the rug out from under her. They didn't let her down lightly they just yanked and let her break her ass. She's got a big heart.. and wanted nothing more than to help her dad. I wish it would've happened for her, not because I'm scared, but just because she wanted it soooo bad.
The last two years of my life have been a roller coaster... not the good kinda that just glide and leave your stomach in the same spot... But the bad kinda that drop with no notice... speed up with out warning... and slam to a spot just to make sure you're paying attention. Well... I guess that might, in your opinion be a good roller coaster.. just not in mine. I like roller coasters like the Avalanche.. smoooooth and easy...
I feel like if my life were a movie, book, or reality series... I'd be super famous... A household name. Eventually when I'm able to, without it being to painful, or when the pain dulls, I'd like to write a book, explaining my life, hopefully helping someone with a a similar situation. I think there's a few more chapters that I need to live before it'll be a bestseller...
Blogs kinda release emotions that you didn't know you had.. and I feel a lot better now that I've written it. Kinda soul cleansing.. if you will.